The Thin Side

It has been a really short work week for me – I only had to work 2 days, Thursday and Friday.  all I can say is Thank God it’s almost over. ha,ha

What’s Up

well I haven’t blogged all week and although writing helps to keep me sane and its an OA tool that works for me.  I have time issues that make blogging difficult.  I have to really make space in my day for a few words to land on the page.  I haven’t been getting up at 5:30 AM because I’m not going to bed early enough.  There are a lot of things I’m not doing and I can beat myself up about them or I can adjust my schedule and try again.  Why? because I only have today….. Practising the principles of OA and remembering that I don’t have to do this alone, that I can call someone or read some literature or find a meeting and attend.  The next thing is working the steps! Sometimes I feel like WTF! how can I do everything I need to do – work life balance – WTF is that! Acronyms are great aren’t they? Continue Reading…

I’m off today to go to a funeral.  My sister’s mother-in-law passed away Monday night after a one year long battle with cancer.  She was actually diagnosed around this time last year. She was over 90 years old and was ready for the next and final phase of her life – to die.

She lived about 2 hours away just north of Kitchener so we are on the road shortly.  My sister is here from Scotland and this weekend we are celebrating Thanksgiving with family.  My son and his fiance will be here too.  I am truly blessed.

Plan of Eating

I haven’t posted it but I am tracking my food by writing it down.  I’ll post it at some point either today or tomorrow. Until I do …. I trust I will eat reasonably and with  awareness.

What a creative title I’ve come up with today…. I’m playing the catch up game.  I worked late last night and I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.  I’m driving to Toronto this afternoon after work to pick up my sister who is visiting from her home in Scotland. I am very excited to see her and catch up. 

I like my title because that is what I’m doing I’m fighting a losing battle – I’m working hard at losing weight and trying to get in better physical health.  I am now experiencing the physical recovery of my program.  I haven’t posted my weekly food plan yet but will soon.  Rest assured I am keeping track of all my food through my food & activity tracker at fitday.com. I’m running late so I have to head out – I’ll check in later and update my weekly plan….

Monday October 3rd, 2010

The weekend went by and I had plans  – yet I accomplished all of nothing.  The crazy part is I was busy all weekend. As I reflect on the past weekend I ruminate  on what went wrong and why I didn’t accomplish what I needed to.  Of course the answer is simple I have too much to do.  When this happens to me sometimes it backfires and I get nothing accomplished. Continue Reading…

Today the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming

YESTERDAY

Looking back over yesterday  I had some very anxious moments and a couple of times I felt so anxious I had trouble focusing and it felt extreme.  It was a day to remember but also a day to get through and a day to be glad its over.  The honesty part is I’m glad it’s over and of course it wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated…. shocker! To quickly recap yesterday sucked! Work was busy and I had to deal with some difficult situations – I did and now whatever will be will.  The serenity prayer helped a lot.  It was also a tough day food wise and I missed my fitness class. When I got to the Y I was 10 minutes late and then realized I didn’t have my running shoes. I could have gone swimming but  decided to just go home and finish up my work from here. I’m disappointed in myself  and trying not to beat myself up too bad. Lesson here – move on and focus on today because that is what I have. Continue Reading…

I’m expecting today will be a tough day.  I can’t elaborate why but I wish I could stay home and not  deal with it – I wish I could run away and hide – I wish I could change into a bird and fly away.

What can I do about the day ahead – nothing — the serenity prayer is how I intend to handle the day.  I have no control over what other people say or do – I only have control over what I say and do.  Change may be in the wind and I will accept whatever the consequences. Also….. I know that today is just another day and it will end.  It will be what it will be.

My hubby has returned from walking the dog and I’m sitting in bed writing.  I’m having a cup of tea that he has just handed me and I’m grateful for his presence.  He can help calm the waters just by giving me a hug and saying a few well chosen words.

I have much to be grateful for. It’s too easy to forget this when I’m so busy and I’m working hard.

1. I am healthy. Sure I have some health concerns but I generally feel pretty good.

2. I am in a loving relationship – my husband loves me and I him – after 21 years of marriage I can still get goose bumps when I think about him.

3. I have two really amazing children – one who is on his own working at a job he loves in Montreal and planning on marrying the love of his life next fall. My daughter is a beautiful talented young woman who is recovering from a serious depression an anxiety disorder and an eating disorder.  She is taking it one day at a time and I’m so proud of her.  Grateful that we still have her in our lives. Continue Reading…

Writing a food plan for a week is easy, once you do it once, you can copy and paste the previous weeks plan in and then adjust it. Change the dates and plan for the week and do the shopping.I didn’t follow last weeks plan as well as I would like to.  I have a long week ahead of me and I did plan dinners for the week yesterday morning.

- I’ve been writing down my food in a small book I’m carrying around and then transferring it into my on line food and activity diary at fitday.com.  Sometimes I can’t always follow my plan.  something comes up and I have to deal with it – good or bad.  writing down my food has worked really well.  It gives me the awareness of how much and when I’m eating.  I can’t give in to the urges of thinking I need something or want something.  I have to think about it first!

Monday – Sept 27, 2010

Breakfast (6:30 am): homemade egg mcmuffin w/ ham & swiss

Snack (10 am): apple

Lunch (3pm ): chicken & swiss sandwich w/ cucumbers and carrots

Snack (3pm): apple

Dinner (6 pm):spagehetti and turkey meatballs, greek salad

Snack (8:30 pm):  1/2 c. cottage cheese, tomato

Exercise:   Y Not Shrink IT – class no. 5 Continue Reading…

Dear Disease,

I’m angry – I don’t want you I don’t want to spend my valuable time dealing with you.

The reality is I do have you and by my accepting and acknowledging this – you lose the power and hold you have had over me. The more I resist the bigger you become. Continue Reading…

Zoom – It’s Friday

The week has gone FAST and a little bit better than last week,  I don’t feel as angry or on edge and I’m feeling more peace,  Thank you higher power! I haven’t really done much differently but I guess it’s about getting use to the changes,  Also writing down my food and keeping track – keeps me accountable,  I’ve heard people say this at my OA meeting but I just didn’t want to do it – my reasons were (I thought) because I didn’t want to be on another diet, that’s why I didn’t want to weigh and measure as well.  The truth is I have to cut my caloric intake and increase my activity and the only way I’m going to know where I’m at is  to keep track.

A New Discovery

The trainer who is working with my group told us about a web site called fitday.com – it’s free and very easy to use.  I like it a lot.  You can track your progress and it gives you guide lines to follow.  I’m keeping track of my food by entering into my food log.  I can print it off to show my trainer and my sponsor or review it on the site.  I’m still learning the nuances and I have to spend more time setting things up right now but as I use it it will get faster and easier to use.  If your looking for a really excellent weight management site – it is worth checking out. Time to get ready for work – so have a great abstinent day and remember – one day at a time….