The Thin Side

I’m Back

I missed writing yesterday because I slept in and I’ve done the same today.  I worked until after 11 pm last night and didn’t actually fall asleep until around 1 am.  This pace will slow down but right now I’m dealing with deadlines.  Continue Reading…

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.

Albert Ellis

The Best Years of My Life

I like the above quote because I do believe life gets better when you own your problems. Owning your problems, accepting them, feeling the feelings and understanding that passing through the pain is the only way to the other side.  I believe we control our own destiny and taking the view that letting go of blame whether it be yourself or someone else gives you the space to live your life more fully and with love & joy. Continue Reading…

The “F” Word

This week it’s been all about my insecurities.  For most of my life when I’ve felt this way I’ve quit, I’ve given up, I’ve called myself the “F” word.  A failure….. Continue Reading…

I love Sundays and then I don’t….

I try not work on Sundays and I try to make a nice dinner, do some tidying up and relax.  Today I’m attending a baby shower  from 1 to 4 pm with my sister and daughter.  I don’t know the Mom and Dad well but Grandma is my very dear cousin.  I wouldn’t miss it!! I haven’t purchased a gift yet so I have to go shopping before heading out.  We’ve decided on a little sleeper and a gift card.  I love taking time to relax to just visit and have a few nibblers.  The problem today is I’ve been having food thoughts – desserts, chocolate and cookies all calling to me.  When I know I’m going to be in a place where there will be an abundance of food on my abstinent list I worry that I’ll lose myself in the moment and have something.  Not because I really want it and can’t control myself but because I am having thoughts of failure. Continue Reading…

An interesting observation

The past week has just flown by and I’ve made some startling discoveries about myself and this disease.   My disease is relentless and knows  my weaknesses and  works at me through these vulnerabilities. When I hear my voice say these things I find it a little humorous that I speak of my disease like it’s a separate entity.  As if  I can package it up in a nice neat box, put the lid on it and stick it up on the top shelf of my closet.  I know it never goes away, I know it is looking for the perfect moment to re-surface and steal away my recovery and all the blessings that have come with it.  My disease wants to be in charge and speaks to me through many different situations.  My disease manifests into every aspect of my life and works hard at regaining a foothold.  It only has power if I let it – but the danger for me is NOT recognizing that I’m fueling it and it’s in the pit….. revving it’s engines. Continue Reading…

Hard Days Night

I enjoyed this video and thought it would be humorous to link to it.  I’ve been working so hard at keeping all the balls in the air. Working hard to get some extra cash to pay some bills.  The words are so great….

It’s been a hard days night and I’ve been working like a doggg, but when I get home to you you know the things that you do make me feelll all right… la,la

John Lennon

I’m home and taking the evening off.  I’ll do some laundry, make some chili, and try and finish hooking my first ever rug. Looks pretty good if I do say so myself.  I’ll take a photo once I’m done and post it.

The remedy of all blunders, the cure of blindness, the cure of crime, is love.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

(from For Today reading  pg 232 – August 19th)

I was thinking about love and wondering about the word itself.  How can four little letters mean so much. It is a small little word with huge, ginormous meaning and importance.  I believe we are blessed as human beings to be able to feel feelings.  Love is the most wonderful and amazing of the feelings to feel. It can also cause great pain.  To know love is to know we will experience the loss of love.  For most of us have had the experience of loving someone or something and losing it.  My most recent loss was of our beloved golden retriever Rumour.  She was an amazing dog and a gift to our family. I miss her everyday. What I’ve learned (again) from this experience is to love deeply we must risk the pain of loss.  We got another retriever soon after Rumour passed away and it felt like a betrayal to her memory.  What I realize is that the capacity to love is boundless.  To stop yourself from loving again for fear of betrayal or fear of feeling that kind of intense emotional pain again, is to deny yourself and the recipient of feeling love.  ” Keep the love flowing”  Continue Reading…

I’m tired of waking up tired (la,la,la)

I overslept, I went to bed later than normal and when the alarm went off this morning I had the sensation of pulling myself out of muck.  The day is stretching out in front of me and I have so much to do.  How crazy am I – working two jobs and loving it.  Here I am sitting at my laptop and writing at 6 am in the morning.  I can’t miss this time to write, Ive come to rely on it – Continue Reading…

Willingness

As I find myself once again sitting at my kitchen table beginning my morning reflections I honestly would rather be in my very warm and comfortable bed.  Sometimes I know exactly what I want to write about but for the most part I just start and see what comes out.  Willingness to write down my thoughts gets me thinking about what is important to me, what is happening in the world, in my world and ultimately helps me act on things in my day I might otherwise not do.  Like dragging my sorry rear end out of bed. hehe Continue Reading…

Getting Real

The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up. - John Maxwell, author and public speaker

Fear is probably the biggest motivator in my life.  So much of what I do is based in fear. Fear of failure, of success and of losing love. Continue Reading…