6:30 AM

I’m in my kitchen preparing my food for the day. I’ve got my snack for mid morning and I’chop up cucumber, red pepper and toss it over my spinach salad.  I put a sprinkling of nuts in a ziploc bag so they won’t go soft and make a turkey and swiss sandwich – oh yes I better take an apple….  I’ll chop a bit up for my salad just before I eat it.  I am planning on going to McDonalds for an early morning breakfast.  I decide I won’t have a hashbrown with my egg mcmuffin – the only thing I let myself have besides a coffee which I do quite enjoy.  It’s early and the rain is steady i love the sound of it hitting the roof of my car.  I want comfort I feel so alone…. McDonalds isn’t comfort I realize there is no comfort – there is no normal. I order – and I go for the hashbrown – crap!  Well I eat it as I’m driving East down Oxford St.  The tears start …… I cry a lot these days usually when I’m alone, driving or reading or listening to music.  My tears know no boundaries though and sometimes they come when I really don’t want them to.  I think of the message on my phone from a friend I haven’t heard from in a while – we know each other through OA she says shes thinking of me and invites me to Saturdays meeting.  Someones speaking and shes very inspiring…. oh I think this might work well. I want to go I want to see my friends – I miss them….. I know they love me unconditionally and except me with all my weaknesses and they understand my pain as I do theirs. I pray for my dear,dear friends…. Continue Reading…